Making friends in Finland/ Finnish culture

The most important part of a student exchange is to learn a new culture; and what a horrible exchange blog this would be if I didn't mention anything about the Finnish culture?! :)

I want to make a post about what I thought before coming to Finland and what I have learned about the Finnish culture. Keep in mind that this post is written from an American point of view, and that other cultures may have different impressions and opinions from what I have found and learned about the wonderful culture in Finland. :)

Before my exchange, my BIGGEST fear about coming to Finland as an exchange student was actually making friends! I had heard from people that Finns were quiet and shy, and that it would take me awhile to make friends; and for someone who is very shy to begin with, it was kind of scary to learn! I was SO excited to be going to Finland, but I was afraid of how I was going to make friends, and how long it was going to take.

Was I going to have friends?
Was anyone going to talk to me?
How was I going to talk to people?
Were they going to think I was weird?

Fast forward- now I am a month into my exchange! (Its crazy how fast time goes by!). It actually DID take me awhile to start making friends, but I learned A LOT in the process about the Finnish culture. ;)

To tell you the truth, in the beginning of my exchange, after the first two days of school, I did NOT want to go back to school.

It was scary. No one would come up to me, and no one would talk to me...everyone would just look at me!

BUT I later learned that I was being really silly, because I learned that this is actually Finnish culture.


A quick introduction what I have learned so far about Finnish culture from my point of view:

I have learned in these past few weeks that Finns are very proper; and they know that there is a certain way to act in different situations. It is actually interesting, because when I pass by elementary schools, I can see that children know when its okay to run and play; but they also know when they need to listen and pay attention.

I have also learned that Finns speak at moderate tones and don't call attention to themselves. They like to mind their own business and they are very shy. They are very punctual, very modest, and usually always on time. (I have actually learned that I need to call people if I am going to be even just a couple of minutes late.) Time is very valuable to Finns, and I have learned that it is actually really rather special if someone invites me to something; and that I should not be late, because they are asking to spend their time with me.


I have learned that Small- Talk does not exist in Finland. Which is both nice, and kind of scary for me at the same time.

It was really scary at first, because I didn't know how to start conversations with people and how to start making friends.

How was I going to talk to them?
How was I going to make friends?

People just walking up to other people in Finland is strange...and it doesn't happen very often. (I am actually starting to be really confused and a little creeped out when someone just walks up to me and starts talking.)

It took me a little while to figure out...but I have found that the BEST conversation starters are always asking people for help.

"Can you tell me if I am saying this phrase correctly?"
"Did I spell this Finnish word correctly?"
"Can you help me with this?"
"Do you know where this is?"

Almost everyone is very kind and willing to help, and by asking for help I learned that it opens doors for conversation, and for starting to make friends. It took me a few weeks to find conversation starters, but one of the things that I LOVE about Finland is that even though people don't say, "If you ever need anything, just ask" or "Im happy to help you any time you need it!" almost everyone is willing to help, but they don't have to tell you...you just already know it. :)

Finnish people are very quiet and shy; but that doesn't mean that they don't want to talk to you, or that they don't want to start conversations with you. During the first few weeks at school I felt as if no one wanted to talk to me, and nobody wanted to be my friend...but I have learned that this is Finnish culture, and that in Finland, respect is very important; and in a way I guess the best way to describe it is, "I respect you, so I don't want to waste your time by walking up to you and using your time."

(Its hard to describe, and I cant think of a better way to describe it. You have to experience it for awhile to understand what I am trying to say...)


Finns don't talk very much; but when they do they say exactly what they mean. In the USA we have a saying, "Actions Speak Louder Than Words." But I feel as though in Finland in a way it is the other way around, because Finns say exactly what they mean. Your words have so much more meaning than in the USA; and if there is nothing to say, they don't say anything. (Which is why there is no small talk.)

Silence isn't awkward here. Its just part of conversation.

It is PERFECTLY okay to sit in silence; even with friends, and it doesn't feel awkward one bit.

It feels special. :)

Knowing that you don't have to constantly talk about unimportant things, and you can just simply sit and enjoy someone's presence; and neither of you feels awkward or bored is special.

It also makes compliments SO much more meaningful; and I know that when someone says something that they REALLY mean it. Compliments aren't given very often; and Finns never lie. ;)


When I was first in Finland, and during the first few weeks of school; I didn't really know how to react or what to do. In the USA, we always waved to everyone and said, "hello" when we walked by acquaintances, or people we barely knew. I don't really know why...it was just what we always do in school, or around town.

During my first few weeks of school, I didn't know how to react because no one would look at each other if they walked by, and so of course this meant that they didn't say, "hello" or wave to each other as they walked by either...I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to do when I walked by someone. But I learned that you just mind your own business and walk to wherever you needed to be. I have learned that I don't ALWAYS have to say hello to everyone I walk by in order to be kind. :)


I also thought that I would write about something that I think is really special about the Finnish culture, but its hard to describe...so hopefully you can understand what im about to try to say:

I have learned that Finnish people like to stare or look at people sometimes. Not in a rude way or anything like that, but just out of curiosity. I have ALSO learned that most of the time when people do this, it means that they want to talk to you. :)

Finnish people are shy, and at school I always wondered why people were always looking at me. I couldn't tell if they wanted to talk to me, or if it was just because I was the foreign exchange student, or if it was just because it is a Finnish thing to do.

Most of the time, it happens because either I am the Foreign Exchange Student, or because they are just curious...BUT I realized that IF they are looking at me, and IF I look at them too...and IF they dont look away; and instead they just blush and smile...then I know that they want to talk to me.

I cant help but feel special when someone is too shy to talk to me, and instead they just look at me and hope that I see them. Its something about Finnish culture that I really, really like. NOT because someone is shy, but because it is so different from the culture of the people in the USA that I think that the difference is really nice and refreshing because its so unlike home.

Its something that I had to learn to really understand what it means and not be taken it the wrong way. Its hard for me to write it all on a blog post and hope that you understand what I am trying to say, because the culture of the people is so different from the United States.

I really love the people in Finland, and I think that Finland is a really special country to come on exchange to. For me, Finland looks kind of like home back in Oregon, with all of the trees; but the culture of the people is so different that I had to really start learning about it and understanding it in order to start understanding what people meant, and how to express myself to others. It is such a unique exchange because of that reason. (Hopefully you can try to understand what im trying to say...)

I know that I am just STARTING to settle into Finland, and that I am just starting to learn the language, and culture...but I love every single thing that I have learned so far, and it makes me so much more excited to know that I still have 10 more months to learn so much more. :)



“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” – Miriam Beard