"I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught."
~Winston Churchill
"You have learned something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something."
~H.G. Wells
"You are everything that is, your thoughts, your life, your dreams come true. You are everything you choose to be. You are as unlimited as the endless universe."
~Shad Helmstetter
These quotes help me introduce the new direction of this post, and they help me express the topic that I will be posting about today. I thought that since my exchange is now almost officially halfway over, that it would be rewarding to post about how IVE changed. The LESSONS I have learned, both GOOD and BAD. The new things that I have DISCOVERED about the WORLD, and MYSELF.
Its a little bit difficult for me to introduce, because as I think about how I will eventually need to go back home; as much as I don't want to think about it! And I cant help but be a bit reluctant about seeing everyone again; and my reason is that I am not the same person as I was 5 months ago. Nope.
Its difficult, because people expect you to come home the same person. Your friends expect you to come home and start right back up where you left off; and it is almost as if they imagine that you hit a big <PAUSE> button in the way that you were. But it doesn't work that way.
I have learned a HECK of a lot more in these past 5 months, than I would have if I didn't go on this Rotary Exchange, and I for SURE wouldn't be the person I am now if I didn't decide to come to Finland.
So, this is probably where you are thinking, "What exactly is different?", "What do you mean you're not the same person?!" Well...let me kind of clear some things up, and elaborate a bit more on the topic.
I decided in this post (both Silly and Serious) to make a list of some of the ways that I have Changed. The different Lessons that I have learned by living in Finland and being away from my family and from being an exchange student.
1.) I actually LIKE mustard.
YES! You heard me! I LIKE MUSTARD!!!
Who knew?!
And I know what you're thinking...but coming from someone who HATES ketchup, and ANY condiments and sauces of ANY kind...this is HUGE!
And how did it come to be?!
Well, it was simple. I tried new things. I thought for sure I wouldn't like it, but I decided to say, "Why not?!" and order myself something WITH mustard! (I thought I was insane!)
BUT- I learned TWO things that day. First off, I learned that I liked mustard! And secondly, I learned that no matter HOW crazy it was or how much I already think im NOT going to like something...that I should just GO CRAZY and try it and do it!
Especially with being an Exchange Student, trying new things is essential. You try new things EVERY day, EVERYWHERE you go. Trying mustard, as SIMPLE as it was, it taught me that even though you have tried something, it doesn't mean that you should NEVER try it again- and convince yourself that you will NEVER like it.
My host mom has a saying that I actually LOVE! "You must try something at LEAST 23 times. If you STILL don't like it after trying it 23 times, then you can say you don't like it." :)
2.) People are genuine and nice. (And they are only human!) :)
No matter WHERE you go in the world, people will go out of their way and help other people. PEOPLE help other PEOPLE.
People are very powerful creatures. We have the power to create change, and to effect other peoples lives. We can make educated guesses, and big decisions. We learn through watching, and we advocate through action. We learn from mistakes, and sometimes it takes a few chances to realize our mistakes.
People are only human, and we have bad days and misunderstandings, but that doesn't mean that people are ALWAYS like that. And we need to remember that sometimes good intentions go misread and don't fall through the way we expect; and that's OKAY.
I have learned so far from living in Finland, that people will truly go out of their way to help people; and that people are still people everywhere you go. (Which of course this experience is not the first time I have learned this lesson, but it really put it into perspective for me.)
Along with this lesson- I ALSO learned that people are only human. You cant always set expectations for everyone around you, and see people unrealistically. We make mistakes, we learn through experience, and sometimes we have to go through lessons multiple times before we learn. We all have different learning speeds, visions, and perspectives.
And part of LIFE is learning how to work with all kinds of different people and work with all kinds of visions and perspectives, and make it WORK. You need to learn to be adaptive, and have an open mind and heart to ALL KINDS of different views, cultures, and perspectives.
I feel as though not everyone learns this lesson until they are placed in positions where they have to introduce and adapt to various ideas and inputs from: clients, colleagues, room mates, teachers...you name it, the list goes on.
Its not always a lesson you learn in high school. Students generally hang out with people with similar views and interests, and you can easily avoid people whose persepctives and views are different than yours. (As sad as that is.). You have mutual things in common with your friends, right? Well...then what happens when you have to work with people with DIFFERENT interests, perspectives, religions, goals, dreams? You learn to appreciate other views, take in different perspectives, and learn how to ADAPT and TOLERATE. That is how the real world works. And I feel as though when I return home, that I will be a lot different than everyone else around me- and really ready to take on higher leadership rolls and jobs. (And I am NOT saying that I feel as though I would be better qualified than others, in ANY way! I just have a wider perspective that I did before, now that I have friends from Germany, Croatia, Turkey, Thailand, Taiwan, South Africa...and SO many different countries and places and regions.)
3.) Its OKAY to do things differently
Coming from the United States, its sometimes actually REALLY awkward to be the American Exchange Student.
I have been asked if I have EVER heard another language spoken. I have been asked if I am friends with Selena Gomez. I have been asked if I know there are other governments in other countries. I have been asked if I have ever met someone from a different country before coming to Finland.
And to tell you the truth...its a little embarrassing that I have been asked some of these questions. And some of them make me feel pretty uncomfortable.
It seems to be the stereotype that Americans are overly patriotic. (Which of course, there are some people who are like that.) And its pretty awkward when people ask me some of these questions, like if I have very heard another language spoken, or if I have ever met someone from a different country before coming to Finland.
I have also heard an opposite side of this, and I have been told that more people should act like Americans! That they should do things more like they do in the USA. And that kind of breaks my heart whenever I hear other people saying that they should be more like someone else, and another culture.
I think that it is AMAZING to have different cultures doing every-day tasks differently. You see people that do things differently than you, and they are HAPPY doing it that way. Its AWESOME to realize that there are SO many different ways to do things; and that people are HAPPY doing it differently!
They aren't always things you think about doing. They are simple things. But they are done just a little bit different everywhere you go. And that's something that's really cool to see. And I wish that there would be more opportunities for us to see it more in the USA.
The United States is such a big country, and it is more difficult for us to travel to different countries. While in Europe however, it is quite easy to travel to different countries; and you hear so many different languages and you have tons of different cultures so close by you. So, perhaps this is something I myself learned from traveling. (However, I have been REALLY fortunate to be able to travel to 8 different countries; While I have friends in the USA who have never even left the West Coast.)
4.) I am spontaneous.
Alright, you caught me!
Exchange has for sure taught me to be spontaneous with my decisions sometimes! Sometimes we don't make the most logical decisions in the world...but last minute trips and decisions make the BEST memories. :D
5.) Do things that scare you.
To tell you the absolute truth: I have learned that BIG rewards, do not come without BIG risks.
I was 16 years old, and I decided to pack up a couple of suitcases and live in a country where I had NEVER heard the language spoken, to live with a family who (at the time) were just names on an email, and live 8,294 km (5153 miles) away from home.
My friends all thought I was crazy and insane, and in a way I guess I am! But I wouldn't change what I did in a MILLION years!
This Exchange has taught me that I can achieve ANY of my goals, no matter how big- and that the options are endless. Only YOU can limit yourself, and if you honestly work hard enough for something, then you CAN do it. A lot of people disagree with what I just said, but it honestly just takes a heck of a lot of work, and a positive brain. There are always loop holes, and ways to get to your goals. You just have to be smart about it and really work toward it and know how to get there.
6.) How to ask for HELP.
This one is HUGE for me. Before my time in Finland, I wouldn't ask anyone for help with things. (You can even ask my mom!) I would take on ALL of these projects and go ABOVE AND BEYOND with them and it would be totally unrealistic to pull off, but I TRIED- and I would never ask for help with any of them!
I just physically couldnt and wouldn't do it. I didnt like it. I just didnt know how to ask, and I honestly just didnt want to. I LIKE being independent. And if I REALLY needed help with something, I would look up a youtube tutorial for it, or google myself directions...
It wasn't until I became an Exchange Student that I realized that I couldn't live like that anymore. There are COUNTLESS times when I need to just swallow my pride and ASK for help.
I was around people who were all speaking another language, I was lost and didn't know where I was, I would get on the WRONG bus and had no idea WHERE I was going...the list is endless.
Its pretty humbling to be 17 years old, and need to call someone you barely know from school, because you got lost trying to go to the grocery store. Its humbling to let someone walk you home, because you got lost down the street- and cant find your way back to your house.
Exchange has REALLY taught me that its OKAY to ask for help sometimes, and it was a really hard lesson for me to learn. But once I just dropped my pride, and LET someone help me...I finally realized that it was an OKAY thing to do.
7.) Question the Status-Quo
I always knew that manners and regular behavior changed country to country, culture to culture...
But coming to Finland kind of made me learn it through experience.
In the USA, you always look at people when you walk by. I dont know WHY, but its just what happens. You WAVE to people, you SMILE at them while you walk by...you just sort of acknowledge their presence.
In Finland- you dont look at people while they walk by. Ever. You just kind of do your own thing, and just go where you need to go. You dont really catch anyone's eye, and you dont really make eye contact while you walk by someone.
I remember just how AWKWARD I felt when no one would look at me in the school hallway, and I felt totally and completely invisible! BUT I soon realized that this was just the custom.
I felt SO awkward when I tried to copy the students around me, and not make eye contact with those whom I walked by. It was SO hard for me NOT to smile or wave to everyone while I walked by...and I felt so strange!
In the Finnish language, there is no word for, "Please". Instead, to be polite you just say, "Thank you" after you ask for something. I felt SO rude when I asked for anything...because without a word for, "please" I didn't know how to ask, and I felt so rude and out of place! But I realized that it was JUST how it was done in Finland, and that I wasn't being rude at all!
I learned that things are just different, and that even though I felt as if I was being rude- that I was in a different culture and that it was JUST how things were done. I was really actually being rude at all!
My ideas were totally flipped around, and I saw that my expectations were totally thrown out the window- and I began to see things the way that the Finns see them.
8.) Being aware of those around me.
I was always aware of people back home, and I always tried to include those around me in things- but becoming a foreign exchange student has taught me how to do so even MORE.
While being an Exchange Student, I have sat alone for lunch COUNTLESS times, and I know what it feels like to be the weird foreign kid who nobody wants to talk to. I know what it feels like to be the kid with the thick accent that no one can understand, and the kid who nobody wants to be paired with for a project, because you would be stuck doing the whole thing yourself!
And it has made me a WHOLE lot aware for the kids around me who are naturally sitting alone. And I have learned that there's NOTHING that makes them smile more, than when a foreign kid with the vocabulary of a 6 year old, comes up and tries to hold a conversation with them!
I feel as though when I come back home, that I will be able to pay attention to people a WHOLE lot more, and be able to really include them in activities and conversations. :D
9.) Throwing shyness out the window!
As an Exchange student, your time is VERY limited. You don't have the time to take things slow and be shy...you just need to THROW yourself out there, and BE who YOU are.
When people imagine Exchange Students, they imagine kids who are super outgoing! Well...I have learned that in reality, a lot of times that ISNT the case- and that we have to REALLY put ourselves out there, and its HARD.
We only have a YEAR, and that year goes by fast, and its something that is VERY special. We need to cherish that time, and in order to do that; we need to just throw ourselves out there and talk with everyone. Be silly, be loud, be yourself! Its hard to put yourself out there like that, because you dont know how people will react or how things could go.
An Exchange Student once said to me that our time is VERY limited, and that I am ONLY in Finland for a year. He told me that the ONLY people who will remember me are my host families, and the best friends that I will make during my exchange year. That YEARS from now, no one in my class will remember my name, that to them I am just another exchange student in the cycle...but that my BEST friends and my host families will ALWAYS remember me.
And he told me that the way to make those best friends, is by totally throwing myself out there right from the beginning and being silly and talk with everyone and just be totally ME. And from doing this, I have found that although it is hard- it is SO rewarding.
Its hard to do, especially when you are the foreign kid...but it really teaches you just to not care at all what other people think, and to just put yourself out there completely and talk with everyone and to not be ashamed with how horrible your language skills are, or for being different. I am ONLY here for a limited time, and this time next year- those at my school wont even remember just how terrible my grammar was or my thick accent; and those who will remember will be my friends forever. ;)
So its a win, win situation; you see?! :D
10.) Being capable.
I have learned in the past 5 months, that I am a LOT more capable than I give myself credit for. I have learned that you have to be ready for things, even if you dont feel qualified or ready for them...you need to take risks and just stay positive, even when you aren't ready to take the next step.
You are always more capable and qualified than you give yourself credit for, and I think that this was a pretty good lesson that I myself needed to learn.
And those are just a few of the lessons that I have learned during my short 5 months in Finland! Although almost all of these lessons were learned the hard way, Im glad that I had the opportunity to learn them and I hope that learning them will help me become much more open with the many more lessons that are to come with the rest of my exchange! :D
